An Almost Apocalyptic Moment

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I’m full of love, I am love

I was full of love since forever and before

I had myself there, whole, on the plate of this existence

I have myself now, here, right now, still whole, but I float trying to rethread my roots, trying to beat death in life, regain light, refeel love, try again and another time.

My love is a neverending story of nights lit up by my Moon, tickles and breaths of angels being present always, fluttering their wings to give me air.

My love is life itself.

It’s still love whenever I forget about it or feel its lack, it teaches through lack of presence, or at least that’s how it feels, like a knife under my heart, just so, I won’t die, because some days are more than I want or can handle, but need to be messed up by...

If she’s gone, she’s gone to teach me how to get it back and how to feel it even more. I feel emptied and drained and torn apart in order to make room for more, for love for life.

I am taken from my roots and float at some point, searching everywhere I can, trying not to drain my surroundings, but to see, learn, feel, observe and get what I need, not polluting my environment, my realities.

And I feel blinded, cold, poor and bitter, lost, with no purpose. I float... I float and remain there for a while because it’s easy, there’s no battle, it’s a familiar feeling, I just accept it and get used to it and wait around to die out of this existence, that’s how we’ve been taught, programed, isolated in a free world.

But this land is not enough to feed me while lost of love, so I float, my body doesn’t feel like wearing me and that’s not comfortable, it doesn’t feel true.

I don’t want remorse, regret, but want to keep on going, go all the way... so I dig deeper inside my unknowns, draining into solitude, I want it, I understand solitude. I want to be able to love complete, again, so I can be loved back and complete.

...when everything will come -through- you, not -to- you and let that happen, you’ll return again in true, in LOVE.... you’ll unbecome, you’ll LIVE in another dimension, in another sea of feelings, you’ll be awake and conscious, in a blessed gold lining, you’ll spark, ignite and burn, you’ll be reinvented after being invented.

I’m helping, by writing myself, my pain and experiences, helping lost angels to regain their wings, their halo.

And I’m giving it all now, when,

It’s around my heart that hurts
My eyes that bleed
My mouth filled with sand
And lungs filled with water

(Edith Oncica, Artist of Femininity, August, 2019)

 



 

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Photographer’s note:

I’ve been capturing places, people and moments with a camera since I was a teenager.  Never before in those forty odd years, have I photographed a moment so raw, pure, profound, real or painful.  I was allowed to freeze frame glimpses of Edith’s deeply personal journey.  The moment felt pivotal while we were shooting.  It’s personal for me as well.  A little over a year ago, Edith and I shared from both of our experiences the understanding that there is always beauty to be discovered in pain. Little did we know that it would ultimately lead us to capturing intense pain in all its devastating beauty like this.  Besides there being beauty in pain, there’s tremendous bravery & strength in vulnerability.  I’m so incredibly proud of you Edith!  May this “coming out” lift a burden on your journey to true soul freedom.  There’s healing & hope from the depths of despair.  And above all, there will always be love! 
An excerpt from “Desiderata”, a text I grew up with by Max Ehrmann:  “No doubt the universe is unfolding, as it should.”  Thank you for helping me understand that I need to trust this to be true!

(Frank-Paul, August, 2019)

 



 

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A bit about the dress:

It’s by a Romanian painter, Georgeta Naparus (1930-1997) who occasionally also designed dresses for herself to wear at her own exhibition openings. We bought the dress at auction. The dress is not dated, but still ... it’s a dress with a story too. This shoot was the first time Edith wore it, so it may not have been worn more than twice in all those years, as a silent witness now to the An Almost Apocalyptic Moment.

 



 

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About Edith:

Edith Oncica is a Brasov born and raised Romanian painter, writer and Artist of Femininity who takes a holistic approach to her feminine image artistry. She is driven by her passion to show women how beautiful they naturally all are through styling, makeup and hair.

With 14 years of experience, she moved to Bucharest last summer and launched her business under the Edit by Edith brand in Romania’s capital in December 2018.

Through her painful personal journey, there’s healing in her passion: “When I’m doing what I love my soul is alive.”

Edith’s recent work has been published by the likes of Vogue Italia, Beau Monde, Cosmopolitan Romania and Marie Claire Romania. More about Edith and her work on www.editbyedith.com.

About Frank Paul:

Frank Paul is a Canadian business designer/startup coach and a seemingly perpetual nomad who first came to Romania 14 years ago. Not so perpetual after all, Romania has gradually become home.

An avid amateur photographer since his early teenage years, his supportive role in the startup phase of Edit by Edith has rekindled his passion for photography. This shoot was his first with analogue equipment in 14 years.

Together with Edith, Frank Paul produces end-to-end beauty & fashion photo shoots under Edith’s Edit by Edith brand

 



 

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Credits:
Styling, muse, makeup & story: Edith Oncica
Photography: Frank Paul
Outfit: Georgeta Naparus dress, Maria Palaria hat, AEP rings

Pictures were taken with a Nikon F100 with a Nikon AF NIKKOR 28-105mm 1:3.5-4.5 lens on Kodak Gold 200 ASA.